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Post by nexus on Aug 26, 2016 5:34:15 GMT
Entry 16
This is one day after the last entry. I've decided to start marking the lengths of time between entries more clearly.
I'm here with Lillie in her garden. We talked for a bit. She said that she talked to Percy when he came to visit Nero and that he said he really likes me. I don't know if I feel the same way but I felt myself blush. Lillie asked what I feel and I told her I didn't really know, but that I wanted her to help me write it out so I could get my thoughts in order, so here we are. She brought a drink that smelled a lot like roses but burned my throat when I drank it, and then gave me a really nice pen. I liked the drink. It was sweet, almost like lemonade, but had a more flowery taste. She told me it was "jamaica" mixed with something called gin. I figured jamaica was alcohol and gin was whatever sweet juice she put in it. Lillie seems very independent. She gave me a couple more glasses, which I drank more slowly, but then stopped. She's telling me to talk and write.
I've started crying a little. It might just be from my throat hurting. I don't know if I really like Percy, because I've only ever been attracted to girls up until this point. It's possible that I've never met "the right" boy, but it doesn't really make sense. Lillie is nodding. She doesn't really understand, but it's nice to know that she's trying. I do like girls. Percy has been very nice, kind, compassionate, and is very handsome and strong-looking, but I don't know if I can have a relationship with him. I feel like it would be dishonest. I don't know how I would even tell him.
I can't say this next part out loud, so I'm going to write it and just show it to Lillie.
*the bottom half of the page is torn out*
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Post by nexus on Aug 26, 2016 5:39:36 GMT
Entry 16
I'm home now. When I came in, my eyes were still a little red from earlier, so Vair asked me if I'd been crying. I told her no, it was just the screens in Nexus' workshop, and she seemed convinced. I don't know why I lied. Maybe I just didn't want her to worry.
Lillie had said that if I didn't want a relationship with Percy, I should tell him as soon as I could. I don't want to do it too soon, but I guess I should in the next few days. She also gave me some advice on... other things.
Being an adult is really hard.
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Post by nexus on Aug 26, 2016 5:51:19 GMT
Entry 17 Morning -- Vair crawled into bed with me last night. She asked me why I had been crying and if everything was okay. I told her it was and that I'd been crying because I was confused. She seemed to understand. I can tell she knows I like girls, even if we never talk about it, but I'm never very subtle around her. I wonder what else she knows, and dread finding out. It had been a long time since we'd slept like that, and I woke up very happy and energetic. I have to work today, but tonight I'll be sure to write down anything interesting that happened. -- Night -- Lillie is going on another assignment, so she'll be gone for a while. After work I went to see Percy, and... I told him that I wasn't sure if the feelings I had were genuine, because I'd always been attracted to girls. He's the second person I've told, and I only met him a month and a half ago! He took it well, though. He was disappointed, but he understood how that could be confusing. He said that he would still like me and understood that it might take a bit longer for the feelings to be mutual, and we agreed we could still be friends. I'm glad. Vair seemed sad when I got home. I asked her if anything was wrong, and she said that she had gone out to the market with Felix and some girls had asked to pet his ears and tails, and seemed really interested in him. I told her that, knowing how the only other nice boys were already preoccupied, Felix was the last one left. Vair said that they should be able to tell that he was hers. That stung.
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Post by nexus on Aug 26, 2016 6:01:16 GMT
Entry 18 This is a week after the last entry. It is mid July, I think. I've been working very hard lately. I found a very rare crystal yesterday, and Nexus credited its value to my housing budget. I was very thankful that he allowed that! It gave us a whole month!! Even if we don't stay here forever, the possibility of that occurring is awesome. I really appreciate being able to stay here even if I have to work. It doesn't feel like we're alone, just like at the guild- it feels like we're part of a community. I haven't really talked to our neighbors much since I've worked a lot, but they invited us over for dinner one night. They were very kind, and the food was good, too. I've seen Percy a couple of times since the time we talked that I wrote about. He's still just as nice and sweet, but its a little less... how can I say it... excited? Energetic? No, that doesn't work. It just seems like there's less enthusiasm. I hope I didn't hurt his feelings too badly, I don't want that! Maybe I'll really talk to him about it, but my feelings haven't really changed... I talked with Owl again! She's very quiet, and likes being alone, but she can be quite talkative, too. She reads a lot, since she watches over Amelie often, and Amelie has a lot of books. Speaking of Amelie, she called me in one day. She wanted to talk to me about Nero, Lillie's boyfriend. She asked me if it was serious. I think it is, so I told her that. She seemed pleased, and asked me to make sure there was no "funny business." I laughed and said she didn't have to worry about that, but that it would be a good idea to have "the talk" with Lillie when she returned, just so that she would be safe. Amelie considered it, and agreed, thanking me for the idea. She's a good mother.
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Post by nexus on Aug 26, 2016 6:14:53 GMT
Entry 19 It is the night after my last entry. Lillie still hasn't returned. I met Roland today! Nexus ordered me a necklace made of the rare crystal I found. He said that if I need protection from magic, it would be there for me. I felt very honored! It was bright purple and seemed to have swirling particles in it, and was hung on a gold chain. It didn't feel like it weighed anything when I put it on! Roland is very strange. I think the word Nexus used was "eccentric" whatever that means. He has a long cane but isn't disabled at all, and wears glasses with gold rims and a suit. He told me about his family, and about he makes jewelry and his wife hones the magic in the crystals, because when the jewels are cut they go a bit dormant and the power needs to be coaxed out. I thought this was very interesting. I gave the necklace to Percy when I saw him. I told him it was very valuable, and he called it priceless. I almost kissed him. Almost. Vair was excited when I got home, and I couldn't tell why. Felix had bought cookbooks and ingredients and she had spent all day making food! We had meals tucked away in store for at least a week and she had just finished a brisket. I hadn't had brisket in a long time and this was very good! All her practice is paying off! I'm very proud of her. Felix told me he saw me giving Percy the necklace. I told them about it. He said that was nice of me. I really figured that Percy would probably need it more than I ever would.
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Post by nexus on Aug 26, 2016 6:22:12 GMT
Entry 20
It's been 2 days since my last entry and Lillie hasn't come back yet!
Owl told me Amelie received a letter from Poe saying that they were delayed and would be another few days. Nexus told me that he didn't really need my help today and could go home if I wanted. I did, and spent the day with Vair! Felix sneaked out while we were playing, but came back in before dinner. I had a really good time with Vair, except when she asked me about Percy. I told her I was still confused, and she asked me what it was like. I didn't understand what she meant by that, and she said nevermind.
For about an hour while Felix was gone, Vair and I just laid on the floor, silent. Her back was against my stomach, and I wrapped my arms around her. It felt very comfortable and peaceful, and I could feel my heart beating faster. After a bit I lied and said I was cold, and got a blanket, which I put partway between us so she couldn't feel my heart anymore.
*there are heavy scribbles and eraser marks on the next line*
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Post by nexus on Aug 26, 2016 6:28:09 GMT
Entry 21 It's been three days and Lillie just got back! She told me to see her tomorrow, because she has things to tell me and I think I have things to tell her, too. I found another rare crystal, this time less rare. I also got a little clumsy while cutting it out and ended up pulverizing it. Nexus laughed when I got really scared he would be mad and told me not to worry about it. I didn't tell him about the clear crystal I'd been seeing as I got the other crystal out. Working in the mines has made me very strong! Even though I can cheat, I've been dialing it back in order to keep myself fit. I've started seeing hints of abs! I'm gonna look so hot. Percy noticed, too. He said I could probably beat up those boys who'd fought Nero. Oh! I haven't seen Nero in a while, since Lillie has been gone. That might be why she wants me to come tomorrow, because she's seeing him today! I hope I get a chance to see him soon. I'm going to sleep, because I'm excited to talk to Lillie again!
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Post by nexus on Aug 26, 2016 6:38:26 GMT
Entry 22
It's the next day.
I talked to Lillie in her garden. When I got there, she was crying. She'd been in Centrino, and that boy she'd always seen approached her. He was everything she'd wanted him to be, and she said she understood how I felt a few weeks ago. I told her that it would be alright, and that she would figure out what to do soon. This made her feel better, and she gave me a hug. I hugged her back. She was very warm. She said that she was pretty sure she knew Nero better, but that they had stayed in Centrino for a few days longer so that she could get to know the boy, and that she really liked Nero, despite the other boy. I told her that Nero was probably better anyway, and she thought that was funny.
Amelie knocked on the garden door, so I left. Amelie winked at me as I passed her.
I found out Percy is Roland's son. His dad told him to return the amulet, but he also told me that if I said he could keep it, his father wouldn't object. I told him it was his, and that I knew how valuable it was and wanted him to have it. He thanked me again and kissed me on the cheek. We only met in the street, and he was going somewhere, so he left after that.
When I got home, Felix and Vair were asleep again. I fixed up dinner which raised them from their slumber and asked them about their day. I felt like a mom. Maybe I should have "the talk" with them.
Now that I think about it, that would be a bad idea.
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